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Monty Python and Medicine Hat

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In the midst of our coronavirus infested world, the search for distractions during mandatory 2-week quarantines reaches far.

While some hunker down and binge on Disney +, Fast and Furious, Little House on the Prairie, Game of Thrones, house hunting shows or the holiday themed film fests on various networks, others will sit down in front of their TV fireplace channel and catch up on their reading and handy men destroy, rebuild and re-imagine their environments, the truly bizarre among us turn to Monty Python…

It is true, while many of the above pursuits are admirable and give us warm fuzzies, Englands’ famed comedy troupe can be seen on Netflix in their off colour, politically incorrect humor.

But what appeal does Monty Python hold for those who still call Alberta home?

“I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay. I sleep at night and work all day,” brings to mind the lumberjack and his girl surrounded by the beloved RCMP singing their chorus. Nothing says British Columbia to Python fans more than this.

But how can fans of Cleese, Chapman, Idle, Jones and their amazing co-stars count Alberta as part of the mythos?

There is no need to fear, while Toronto barely ekes a mention, the great metropolitan centre of Medicine Hat can indeed claim comedy immortality!

During Cosmetic Surgery, a plastic surgeon is expecting a patient who sports a particular malady…a very large nose. The problem is that the very large proboscis is a rubber nose held on with elastic!

With that kind of set up, satire rules and well, let’s allow the script to tell the story.

(Cut to profile of Raymond Luxury Yacht from next sketch who has an enormous false polystyrene nose. Superimposed arrow pointing at nose.)

Voice Over: Number nineteen. The nose.

(A man sitting behind a desk in a Harley Street consulting room. Close-up of the name plate on desk in front of him. Although the camera does not reveal this for a moment, this name plate, about two inches high, continues all along the desk, off the side of it at the same height and halfway round the room. We start to track along this name plate on which is written:

‘Professor Sir Adrian Furrows F.R.S. F.R.C.S. F.R.C.P. M.D.M.S. (Oxon), Mall Ph.D., M. Se. (Cantab), Ph.D. (Syd), ER.G.S., F.R.C.O.G., F. FM.R.C.S., M.S. (Birm), M.S. (Liv), M.S. (Guadalahara), M.S. (Karach), M.S. (Edin), B.A. (Chic), B. Litt. (Phil), D. Litt (Phil), D. Litt (Arthur and Lucy), D. Litt (Ottawa), D. Litt (All other places in Canada except Medicine Hat, B. Sc. 9 Brussels, Liege, Antwerp, Asse, (and Grower) ‘.

There is a knock on the door.)

Specialist: Come in.

(The door opens and Raymond Luxury Yacht enters. He cannot walk straight to the desk as his passage is barred by the strip of wood carrying the degrees, but he discovers the special hinged part of it that opens like a door. Mr Luxury Yacht has his enormous polystyrene nose. It is a foot long.)

Specialist: Ah! Mr Luxury Yacht. Do sit down, please.

Mr Luxury Yacht: Ah, no, no. My name is spelt ‘Luxury Yacht’ but it’s pronounced ‘Throatwobbler Mangrove’.

Specialist: Well, do sit down then Mr Throatwobbler Mangrove.

Mr Luxury Yacht: Thank you.

Specialist: Now, what seems to be the trouble?

Mr Luxury Yacht: Um, I’d like you to perform some plastic surgery on me.

Specialist: I see. And which particular feature of your anatomy is causing you distress?

Mr Luxury Yacht: Well, well for a long time now, in fact, even when I was a child … I … you know, whenever I left home to … catch a bus, or… to catch a train… and even my tennis has suffered actually…

Specialist: Yes. To be absolutely blunt you’re worried about your enormous hooter.

Mr Luxury Yacht: No!

Specialist: No?

Mr Luxury Yacht: Yes.

Specialist: Yes, and you want me to hack a bit off.

Mr Luxury Yacht: Please.

Specialist: Fine. It is a startler, isn’t it? Er, do you mind if I… er.

Mr Luxury Yacht: What?

Specialist: Oh, no nothing, then, well, I’ll just examine your nose. (he does so; as he examines it the nose comes off in his hand) Mr Luxury Yacht, this nose of yours is false. It’s made of polystyrene and your own hooter’s a beaut. No pruning necessary.

Mr Luxury Yacht: I’d still like the operation.

Specialist: Well, you’ve had the operation, you strange person.

Mr Luxury Yacht: Please do an operation.

Specialist: Well, all right, all right, but only … if you come on a camping holiday with me.

Mr Luxury Yacht: He asked me! He asked me!

(Cut to lyrical film of Luxury Yacht and specialist, frolicking in countryside in slow motion.)

The skit, like many of Pythons short segments is brilliant for its elephant in the room symbolism and simply ludicrous conclusion- something very Alberta, camping!

But the real pay-off for Alberta tourism is the very large, over the top professional creditations that the expert claims…The phrase….except Medicine Hat jumps off the screen and clearly either means that inhabitants of Medicine Hat are above skit humor OR the inhabitants of Alberta’s natural gas city are safe from malpractising proboscis surgery!

Either way, inhabitants of Medicine Hat can indeed claim comedy glory and honor that Calgary, Edmonton and Red Deer cannot even begin to comprehend!

Long live Python!

 

 

Not so fantastic: Thieves swipe three rare ‘Fantastic Four’ comic books

Tim Lasiuta is a Red Deer writer, entrepreneur and communicator. He has interests in history and the future for our country.

#RedDeerStrong

And Money Flowed in the Streets….

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It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…

Charles Dickens was a masterful writer with a superb grasp of the human psyche. In his Christmas Carol, which has been retold thousands of time since its original publication, he captured the penultimate human tragedy and richness: gratitude and thankfulness leads to an overflowing heart.

However, in this time in our world while every medical officer and professional is running the Covid 19 marathon, internet and news channel surfers are digesting every chart and update hungrily, and business men and women are looking to an uncertain future post crisis, people are discovering what is truly valuable.

We have witnessed the dismantling of sports empires worldwide-the NFL, NHL, MLB, MLS, PGA tours and other professional sports are now on pause for the 2020 season. Our entertainment industry, in addition to seeing Harvey Weinstein charged with sexual assault is also shut down worldwide. Business empires, so powerful in previous months are now powerless to resist falling sales and changing trend.

The gods of this world are now neutered, powerless, crownless and less significant everyday.

While public gatherings have been outlawed in numbers over 15, and social distancing has replaced conversation and relationships, families are spending more time together and hobbies are on the rise. I would venture to say that more people have never read so many books, or cooked so many cookies, or binged on Netflix or have been engaged with video entertainment than ever before.

On the positive side, crime rates are down. People are home so thieves are less likely to find empty homes.

The porn industry has shut down.

Houses are cleaneMoney flowed in the stretsr, and early spring cleaning is occurring.

Income tax season, while lengthened, will be less stressful for people.

Afternoon naps are now fashionable again.

People of faith can now find (or make) time to pray, read, and watch sermons and seminars online.

Music is more likely being played from all decades more often.

And then we consider the plight of the rich and entitled, when Covid 19 or any disease/condition enters their homes and robs them of health and a sense of well being…

Earlier today on whatsapp, a picture was posted with a quote from Sidhu, but it could also be from Ecclesiastes as well…

The richest people in Italy threw the money on the road and said, “This did not work in our bad times, we cannot save our loved ones, we cannot save our children, what is the use of this wealth? There is a lesson for those who value money more than humanity …. humbleness

Ecclesiastes 1: 1-4 states that, in the words of the teacher, son of David, king in Jerusalem that”

 “Meaningless! Meaningless!” says the Teacher.
“Utterly meaningless! Everything is meaningless.”

 What do people gain from all their labors at which they toil under the sun?
 Generations come and generations go, but the earth remains forever.”

In Italy, where Covid 19 has claimed thousands of victims, where a country is held hostage by something so small and insignificant, they have realized that no matter how much money they have, no matter now much power they have, that it cannot save their lives.

Their money, once a symbol of wealth and stature, now blows down empty city streets, rolling and curling in response to slight breezes and great gusts. Passers by walk by, pick up Euro every now and then and gaze upon the piles of powerless and valueless currency that pales in comparison to the greatest treasure of all: faith, humanity, health and humility.

Crisis Financial Management-From Where Should It Come?

 

 

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#RedDeerStrong

The Red Deer Downtown Business Association opens up survey for downtown identity project.

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The Red Deer Downtown Business Association (DBA) is proud to announce the launch of their survey to assist the DBA’s ongoing efforts of creating an identity for Downtown Red Deer. This survey will be used to gain feedback from citizens of Red Deer and surrounding communities on their thoughts of downtown.

The DBA is looking for 20 individuals that complete the 3 to 5-minute survey, to participate in a longer 20-minute interview in return for a $10 gift card to one of the specialty coffee shops in the core.

The survey will be available from March 30, 2020 to April 20, 2020 on www.downtownreddeer.com, the Downtown Red Deer Facebook page and the following link (https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KS25DRD). 

The Downtown Business Association has been operating in Red Deer for over 30 years, serving approximately five-hundred business owners in the Downtown area. Through partnerships and leadership in advocacy and promotion, the DBA is the catalyst for a vibrant and prosperous downtown that is the place to live, work, play and do business.

 For more information, contact:  Amanda Gould, Executive Director, Red Deer Downtown Businesses Association 403.340.8696

amanda.gould@downtownreddeer.com

(originally published March 30, 2020)

COVID-19 swinging a wrecking ball through the arts community

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april, 2020

fri17apr10:00 am9:00 pmFeaturedOur Best to You Spring Handmade Market10:00 am - 9:00 pm Westerner Park, Parkland & Prairie Pavilions, 4847A-19 Street Event Organized By: Signatures Shows Ltd

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