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Remembering our Parents-Pandemic Assisted Loneliness Death and Life


7 minute read

Someday, we will all lose our parents, grand parents, and friends.

If we are parents, our children will ‘lose’ us when we are called Home.

The great senses of loss we expererience are as different as colours in the world of nature, or our unique set of characteristics.  How we grieve is directly related to our relationships with our family, to the recently deceased and also intimately telling of how we ourselves view the afterlife.  Also, in our present state of (what is deemed to be) pandemic, how often we spent time with and what kind of quality time we spent with our loved one.

It has been said that time heals all wounds, but that adage is only as accurate as our internal grieving.  My father died 7 years ago, and while our family has grieved, we have moved forward to live our lives.

It is interesting what can trigger us to revisit our mourning and cast our minds back to those in our past.  For me, it was Facebook, and a notice that August 25 would have been his 80th birthday.  It just so happens that I had driven by the graveyard he is interred at the same day and while I wanted to stop, I did not.

Later that night when I turned on Facebook, that dreaded notice came up, and the whole experience became more odd.

If he had been alive, there would have been a birthday party, and his great grandchildren would have played around his feet.  His grand children would have sat beside him and talked about their weeks and days, and he would have smiled and listened as he was more wont to in his later years.  His children would have probably popped by for a visit a couple of times this week and as was his custom, sipped coffee from Darth Vader.

But, despite his absence, we still have customs that help us remember.

If there are family pictures on our walls, we look and recall the good times.

If there are family movies, we turn them on and watch/listen to moments captured in time.

Or we call our mom and share a memory and talk about her day, week, and events.

During the course of any family funeral, you get the opportunity to open the book of the life of your loved one and see what they really left behind.  Bills, bank accounts, letters, cards, computer files and email are all laid bare for someone to see.  Boxes that sat in the attic or garage are now opened and sorted and appreciated.

That is when you really get to know your father/mother/grand parents.

But if there are any questions after seeing their stuff and making hard decisions, you cannot ask but relatives become a resource.

My family has been blessed with a wealth of life material from parents and grand parents, so when we sorted and separated, we saw my father as a young boy, from his baby clothes to his glasses and wallet contents.

It was a great experience to be able to share my father’s life with his friends and mothers relatives.  His funeral drew people we had not seen for many years, and it was a time that we did not appreciate until later.

My mothers last memories of my father are sweet.  He had gone outside onto the garden swing and told my mom that he could hardly wait for spring so he could go outside.. By morning he had passed into eternity.

Experiences like that have been verboten since March, and thousands of seniors have died lonely, isolated, and abandoned by family members, all encouraged by public health policy and abusive facility regulations deemed to protect.

There was an experiment I saw recently that had a child under 1 year old interact with his mother actively, then being told to ignore the child.  That child reacted negatively with anger, frustration and screaming until the mother re-engaged with the child.  It only took 2 minutes for decreased contact and lack of encouragement to recoil and act out.  Imagine months of toddlers and pre-schoolers being told that they cannot play with their friends, or socially active individuals to be allowed interaction?

This video was very enlightening, and gave this treatment a name….Child abuse….Elder abuse….

Since Covid19 was deemed a pandemic, citizens of the world have been shut out, shut up and shut down world-wide.   What was once normal is no longer so, and instead of a desire to be social beings we are told to be fearful of everyone because they may carry the virus that might kill Aunt Sadie.  The truly sad comment is that this campaign of callousness has been so severe that some people will never recover and re-engage public lives again.

It seems that intelligence, logic, and good statistics are now also forbidden when discussing Covid numbers and penetration.  Passion and fear have overwhelmed facts, and in the process, people lose and policy is imposed with questionable ethics.

Lonely is safer (and recommended) than social gatherings with positive relationship outcomes.

In fact, as some have pointed out, Nazi Germany under Hitler practised the same tactics to near global domination.  In some ways, I do not think that comparison is not far off.

Back to my point, by trying to protect the vulnerable among us we have sentenced them to death by isolation.  Our medical officials and government officials are guilty of something so dreadful it should not be said.

My father, like so many who died before this disease hit us, would not recognize our world of fear and paranoia.  In some ways, neither do I.

May God have mercy on our souls.

Tim Lasiuta

Originally published August 29, 2020

Tim Lasiuta is a Red Deer writer, entrepreneur and communicator. He has interests in history and the future for our country.

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Kiwanis Club and Red Deer Twilight Homes Foundation give crucial boost to Safety City

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From Amy Gardner, Executive Director of the Red Deer Safety City Society

Safety City Receives Major Donations

When the Coronavirus hit Alberta, its negative impact on local businesses was considerable.  Many have not been able to reopen their doors.  Countless others have been struggling and trying their best to survive through the hardest times they have ever witnessed.  One of the hardest hit groups is Not-for-Profits.  Red Deer Safety City Society, a local non-profit, has been serving Red Deer and all of Central Alberta for the last 20 years.  Each year their programs touch the lives of around 3,800 children.  Staff, parent volunteers and teachers from numerous school divisions each spring and fall help run fun, safety-oriented courses.  In addition, Safety City operates summer camps in July and August.

Safety City relies heavily on donations as well as revenue generated through the running of their safety programs.  As a result of the pandemic considerable revenue was lost from field trips being cancelled during spring and fall.  The new safety guidelines, restricting the number of children and families that could participate in summer camps, caused the organization to take another financial hit.  Those losses caused considerable concern.  Could Safety City make it through another year?  The Executive Director, Amy Gardner, reached out to two long time supporters: The Kiwanis Club of Red Deer and Red Deer Twilight Homes Foundation.  The Red Deer Kiwanis Club was a founding member of the Red Deer Safety City Society.  Knowing the importance of the work done at Safety City, the Kiwanis Club of Red Deer and the Red Deer Twilight Homes Foundation got together to make two large donations to the Society in order to preserve the organization.

On January 15, 2021, key members from Red Deer Twilight Homes Foundation and the Kiwanis Club of Red Deer presented the Executive Director, Amy Gardner, and the Board President, Kristina Sveinson of the Red Deer Safety City Society, with donations totalling $25,000.  This money will enable Red Deer Safety City Society to continue offering their summer camps, field trips and birthday parties, when government rules permit.  These generous donations have allowed the Red Deer Safety City Society to remain a constant in our great city.

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Central Alberta

Judy’s story: I’m on the healthy road!

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On the Healthy Road!

My journey to better health starting when my doctor told me my blood sugar was at pre-diabetes levels, my blood pressure continued to require medication and I had weight to lose.  He sent me to see the RDPCN nurse. After some appointments there, the nurse referred me to the Health Basics program.

Exercise was my downfall. Working from home, I always found something else to do rather than exercise.  Health Basics increased my awareness. I tracked what I was eating and became more aware of what I ate, when I ate and why I ate. I also realized things that would make me healthier that I wasn’t doing.  I realized being healthy is a process and I took one healthy step at a time. I also became aware of the wider variety of options for healthy lifestyle.

My husband and I visited friends over the summer and noted they had lost weight.  This stimulated us to pay even more attention to our food intake. As a result of our overall efforts, I have lost about 32 pounds and my husband has lost 37. My blood sugar is now in the normal range. I have had significant decrease in my blood pressure medication. I have more energy. I enjoy exercising more as it is easier to move around and I have less arthritis pain. Health Basics is an excellent class- it started me on the healthy road. I also have much more confidence in my future health.

Click to learn more about the Red Deer Primary Care Network.

Read more success stories from the Primary Care Network.

Better than winning the Lotto!

Better than winning the Lotto!

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january, 2021

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