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Leadership is challenging.
Criticism of leadership, from numerous directions, can feel like death by a thousand cuts for those of us who are brave enough to take on leadership positions.
Learning resilience strategies, that are not driven by ego, is critical for sustainable results. One of the most important resilience strategies all leaders need is self care.
Self care is essential to your health and the health of your organization.
Throughout my adult life, I’ve experienced numerous leadership positions and leadership roles.
Often, I was up to my eyeballs with new responsibilities before I knew it and didn’t understand or have the time to look into how to survive my new reality. I had a skillset that was necessary for the work, I knew I had leadership capacity… but didn’t understand what self-care really looked like for me in my role.
My experience is familiar to many people who are promoted into positions because they were great at their previous role. For many of us, we end up in leadership roles and suddenly have responsibilities that are unfamiliar and take an immense amount of self awareness and other awareness.
Burnout can begin to undermine the job we want to do, the life we want to live and the even the self-care efforts that we may be trying to sustain.
There were times when I believed there was no other way, that the situation was my lot in life. I resigned myself to a mindset that was limited to what I knew. Little did I know that there were coping strategies within my reach.
I did not have a very robust idea of what self-care is about. I want to share with you some important truths and some questions for self reflection about self care that I wish I had explored earlier.
First and most important, self care, not driven by ego, is important. We cannot give what we do not have.
What resources are within my reach that I can draw on?
What do I truly believe about taking care of myself?
Self Care starts with what we choose to believe and focus on.
Condemning or critical thoughts may be undermining your self-care efforts. Choosing to talk to ourselves the way we would talk to a friend is a courageous choice.
Am I choosing to be compassionate to myself? Are there useful resources within my reach that I could or should access?
Self Care looks different for each of us. What fills my bucket may not fill your bucket. This is not about what SHOULD work for us. Regular, seemingly small deposits into your self care bank are more effective than massive one time efforts. Think of it like the daily act of brushing your teeth, as opposed to taking the holiday of a lifetime.
What would add to my bucket today?
Self Care is about meaningful connection.
Who are the people in your life who care about me?
What can I do to grow this important resource in my life?
Self Care is about finding moments, people and places where we can feel emotions.
Do I have a place to feel hard emotions in a safe place experience feeling seen, heard and understood?
Self Care is about finding opportunities for laughter. We all need to laugh and play.
Where can I find something today that will give me a good belly laugh?
Self care is about rumbling with setting boundaries.
Boundaries are about what’s ok and what’s not ok AND about being clear about what is mine and what is not mine.
What can I do to get clear about my boundaries?
Now, can you give the people in your team permission to do the same? The flip of self-care for others is empathy…. one of the most critical, and challenging skillsets for today’s leaders.
My suggestions:
Choose one of these elements of self care and strategically add it to your life for two months, then move on to another one of these elements.
Working with a coach has also been the best self-care gifts I have given to myself. Change almost always begins with a conversation.
Your 2019 will look brighter and more successful if you give yourself permission to play and get curious with self care strategies.
Self care has a way of growing what we most want in our lives. Want a healthy team? Taking the time to honestly ask the above questions is a courageous, and important, step.
If you’d like support or to explore any of these ideas further with coaching or training, please contact me at alana@nowsthetime.ca
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