Bruce Dowbiggin
Captain, My Captain: Lost In Translation
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The Quebec government loves culture regulations the way the Kardashians love publicity. So Bill 69, the latest attempt to shelter the febrile French culture in the province, is heaven sent. (Oops, we used religious symbols.) The latest power grab—announced before the current provincial election— is Bill 96 which would essentially make French the only language needed to work in the province.
In essence, firms will have to show why their employees need to be able to speak English. This being Quebec, there will be a vast bureaucracy to monitor the law. Michel Leblanc, president and CEO of the Montreal Chamber of Commerce told CBC, ”Are we heading toward a situation where, at any moment, a company will find itself in court because of the use of French or English [at work]?”
Alex Winnicki, co-owner of Satay Brothers, a Singaporean restaurant in Saint-Henri told CBC, ”I can’t believe that this is on anybody’s priority list right now. To hire a French-speaking person in every job in Quebec, I think, is going to make our job market a lot less attractive for a lot of people.”
But jobs have always been subordinate to the cultural struggle in modern Quebec. And, if we can judge by the economic prowess of the PM, few of the province’s deep thinker spend much time on monetary policy either.
Any Anglos truly bothered by this sort of language enforcement left Quebec long ago for more tolerant language climes. The remainder now huddle in the vain hope that, for the first time since the 1970s, the tongue troopers will say, ”That’s enough.” In other words, they’re hoping for a pony for Xmas.
In the midst of this, the current premier of Quebec, François Legault, has resurrected another sacred Quebec aspiration. Legault had demanded that Nick Suzuki, the new captain of the Montreal Canadiens, learn French. Suzuki is from London, Ontario, so it’s a two-fer for nationalists. You get to pander to your base while flailing a unilingual Ontarian for insensitivity in the same move. It’s an old stunt to whip up the sovereigntists and make the captaincy of the Habs a poisoned chalice. (Oops, another religious allusion there.)
Previously this demand that Habs captains speak French was used to flail Finn Saku Koivu in 2007. Koivu had just waged a heroic battle against cancer while contributing to a paediatric unit at a children’s hospital. No matter. Where was the French? Harassed by the nationalist press on why he didn’t speak French, Koivu admitted “In an ideal world, I should also speak French. But I’m not perfect in that sense.”
That wasn’t enough, of course. It was pointed out that Bob Gainey, a star Canadiens player and then GM, had learned to speak French. Of course, he also let future VPOTUS Kamala Harris (then living in Montreal with her mother) babysit his kids, so no one is perfect. Koivu eventually cobbled together a few sentences en français which he delivered in a suitably penitential voice. Guess what? For a segment of the bleu/blanc/ rouge zealots it still wasn’t enough. “Faire un effort! (Try harder!)”
Defenestrating Koivu was a particularly petty and noxious episode which underlined why many players— including French Canadians— want no part of the Quebec market. It’s hard enough to survive the seven-month grind of an NHL season with its injuries and travel. But satisfying the never-ending cultural charade of Quebec is above any player’s pay grade.
As Suzuki is about to discover. When the story of his unilingualism hit this week even some Anglos were lamenting, “Shouldn’t he be able to talk to the fan base in their native tongue? Isn’t it disrespectful to snub them?” It doesn’t seem to have sunk in that the PR department of the Habs is already charged with communications in both languages.
Suzuki’s job is to lead by scoring goals and preventing others from scoring. In most cities that’s a huge responsibility. In Montreal’s chattering class it’s considered a sideline. The real Stanley Cup is nattering on in two languages to please the suits at UQAM or in Le Devoir.
As for Bill 69, it’s the sort of red meat that used to energize people outside Quebec into protecting the sacred dream of bilingualism. In the past Justin Trudeau’s Daddy believed that everyone should be served in his own language across the nation. Now? His son thinks Canada has dozens of languages and 32 pronouns. So he’s not saying squat.
But the rest of Canadians are now officially bored with the 1990s language narratives that almost tore the nation apart. They see that, with the Family Compact running Canada, Quebec drives its own boat, and heaven help you if you want to ship your products through the province. Even firebrand Pierre Poilievre in his CPC acceptance speech signalled his unwillingness to confront Quebec.
Many, like a former bank vice-president— and Quebec native— we spoke to recently have morphed from defending unity to saying “let Quebec go its own way”. They point to the absurdities of the equalization system— Quebec’s hydro revenue is not counted under the system while the West’s energy is— and shrug their shoulders. They seem to be staying “Let’s make a deal to let them go”.
If only it were that simple. But for those who can’t fathom Danielle Smith’s Alberta Sovereignty project currently being proposed (and reviled) in Eastern Canada, this might be a window into understanding why so many outside La Belle Province are no longer willing to bear the cross (oops, yet another religious symbol) of two peoples’ alienation from each other.
Let Quebec play its interior culture games. Let the West have the Canada back that the Trudeaus père et fils have defiled. It could be a workable friendship.
Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster (http://www.notthepublicbroadcaster.com). A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft YearsIn NHL History, , his new book with his son Evan, was voted the eighth best professional hockey book of by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted seventh best, and is available via http://brucedowbigginbooks.ca/book-personalaccount.aspx
Who knew when we tuned in Saturday night to Hockey Night In Canada that we would be witnessing playoff history. Nay, not just playoff history but hockey history. According to what we saw and heard on HNIC just ONE TEAM played on Saturday. And they lost. It goes without saying that the team was HNIC’s beloved Toronto Maple Leafs.
Those of us who’d stuck with the telecast all evening could’ve sworn there was another team on the ice in black and gold. Rumour has it they were the Boston Bruins, but don’t quote us on that. Also, take it as a rumour that Boston’s 3-1 win gave them a 3-1 lead in games over Toronto heading back to Boston for what most expect will be the coup de grace for the blue and white. Again.
But when time came to discuss the game afterward the Toronto-based panel told us that the Leafs had beaten themselves. Yes, in some hockey version of metaphysics Toronto had transcended the third dimension. The Bruins were like The Fugitive, lurking far out of sight. Brad Marchand had had nothing to do with breaking up Toronto’s neutral-zone speed nor Charlie McAvoy clearing the front of their net. Jeremy Swayman, who he?
Instead the talking heads dissected the loss in shades of blue.
For those who were washing their hair or another vital task on Saturday, the Leafs had more story lines than a season of Curb Your Enthusiasm (insert your joke here), They finally got their migraine-afflicted star William Nylander back in the fold before a delirious Scotiabank crowd who’d probably paid about a $1000 a ticket to attend. But their star sniper Auston Matthews (allegedly) had food poisoning or a gall stone or a tee time next week back home in Scottsdale. Hard to say.
There was also a goaltending controversy, a Mitch Marner controversy and a Keith Pelley controversy (more on MLSE’s new CEO in a moment). And the, you know, 1967 thing. Despite the hysteria of their long-suffering fans at puck drop, postgame analysts hinted the Leafs seemed to be disinterested. Or, to those who actually watched the game, they were schooled by a better Boston team.
By the middle of the second period, despond and a 3-0 deficit had settled on the Leafs. Despite being the ONLY TEAM on the ice their well-compensated stars were bitching at each other on the bench. While Matthews looked glumly at his pals, Marner had a hissy fit throwing his gloves to the floor. Nylander lip-synched a rebuke to Marner along the lines of Grow up, this ain’t junior hockey. Did we say the crowd booed them off the ice after the second period? Yeah, that too.
Which led mild-mannered Kelly Hrudey to scold Marner for a bush-league behaviour in the break. Remember, Hrudey’s the nice guy on the HNIC panel. Where others see an alligator chomping on their leg Kelly sees a chance to get up-close with nature. So the rebuke for Marner was incendiary. By the time they dropped the pick for the third period you’d have thought Bob Cole wasn’t the only person to pass away this week. Gloom.
Making matters worse, Matthews was nowhere to be found. (According coach Keefe, the doctors had pulled him from the game. Whatever.) When the contest ended with a Toronto loss, the postgame chatter was once more obsessed with Toronto’s failings, as if another team were not having its way on the ice. Where was the effort? Where was the intensity promised when Leafs management spread dollars like Easter candy among its Core Four?
Kevin Bieksa, typically the most salty one on the panel, reminded everyone there was a Game 5 Monday and that 3-1 leads have been overcome. But with Toronto’s success in comebacks being nil he sounded like a guy trying to sell you a penny mining stock.
The dressing-room afterward was mint. “You know what, that’s just the way we are,” Nylander said. “I mean we expect a lot from each other, and we love each other.”
“I don’t think there’s any (frustration),” Marner added unconvincingly. “We’re grown men. We were talking about plays out there that we just want to make sure we’re all 100 percent on and know what we’re doing… We’re not yelling at each other because we hate each other.”
Chris Johnston of The Athletic called it the end of the Maple Leafs as we know them. “They’re making more mistakes at five-on-five, they’re soundly losing the special-teams battle, and they’ve transformed from being one of the NHL’s best offensive teams in the regular season to one that can’t score more than two goals per night in the playoffs. Wash, rinse, repeat.”
Coach Sheldon Keefe, whose shelf life has about 60 minutes left, was enigmatic in the face of cruel destiny. “You can question a lot of things; you can’t question the effort,” he said.
He’s right about one thing. When this first-round ends in ignominy there will be plenty of questions from Pelley, newly installed at the top of the MLSE pyramid. Such as, why should I keep this management team that teases Waygu beef in-season but delivers ground chuck in the playoffs? It’s long been said that the league the Leafs have been built for doesn’t exist in the postseason. So why keep pretending it does?
For those not in the know, Pelley has spent the last few years dealing with the Saudi’s LIV golf enterprise in his role as CEO of what used to be known as the European Tour. (Insert your barbarism reference) So he’s used to dealing with nasty situations.
Maybe his first act on the Leafs file is reminding everyone that two teams play each other in the playoffs, and it might be a good idea to learn from what the winners are doing.
Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Now for pre-order, new from the team of Evan & Bruce Dowbiggin . Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL & Changed Hockey. From Espo to Boston in 1967 to Gretz in L.A. in 1988 to Patrick Roy leaving Montreal in 1995, the stories behind the story. Launching in paperback and Kindle on #Amazon this week. Destined to be a hockey best seller. https://www.amazon.ca/Deal-Trades-Stunned-Changed-Hockey-ebook/dp/B0D236NB35/
It came to this. Playing in the 6,000 seat Mullet Arena on the campus of Arizona State. Owned by a luckless guy who eschewed the public spotlight. Out of the playoffs, their bags packed for who knows where, the Arizona (née Phoenix) Coyotes gave an appreciative wave to the tiny crowd gathered to say Thanks For The Memories.
With that they were history. Although NHL commissioner-for-life Gary Bettman has promised the last in a set of hapless owners that he can revive the franchise for a cool billion should he build the rink that no one was willing to build for the Yotes the past 20 years.
The Arizona Republic said good riddance. “Metro Phoenix lost the Coyotes because we are an oversaturated professional and college sports market with an endless supply of sunshine and recreational choices. Arizona may have dodged a slapshot:
We have the NFL Cardinals, the MLB Diamondbacks, the NBA Suns, MLB spring training, the WM Phoenix Open, the Phoenix Rising, the WNBA Mercury, the Indoor Football League Rattlers and the Arizona State Sun Devils. There hasn’t been a household name on the Coyotes since Shane Doan, and half of Phoenix probably doesn’t know who he was”.
Likely they’ll be a financial success in Salt Lake City where there’s a viable owner, lots of money and a will to make it work. They’ll need a will because— stop me if you’ve heard this before about the Coyotes— the rink they’ll play in this fall has only 12,500 unobstructed views for hockey.
Watching this farce we recalled getting a call from Blackberry co-founder Jim Balsillie in 2008, shortly after our book Money Players was a finalist for the Canadian Business Book of The Year. We’d written a fair bit about the Coyotes in our work and someone had told Balsillie we might be the ones to talk to about a plan he was concocting to buy the bankrupt Coyotes and eventually move them to Hamilton.
Balsillie was salty over the way he’d been used as a stalking horse in the financial troubles of the Pittsburgh Penguins in 1990s. Flush with money from the huge success of RIM, Balsillie offered to buy the Pens, with an eye to moving them to southern Ontario if Pittsburgh didn’t help build a new arena for the team.
In time, Balsillie saw that Bettman was only trying to protect the investment Mario Lemieux and others had in the Pens. Balsillie was the black hat who eventually spooked Pittsburgh into giving the current owners what they wanted. At the end of the day, Mario got his money and Balsillie was given a “thanks for trying”: parting gift of nebulous promises.
Still smarting, Balsille vowed not to be used again. in his desire to bring the NHL to southern Ontario. So when the Coyotes owner Jerry Moyes threw the keys to the team on Bettman’s desk, he saw an opening in the bankruptcy that followed. Seeing Bettman as the impediment, Balsillie decided to buy the team out of bankruptcy, a process the NHL could not legally prevent.
What Balsillie wanted to know was “What then? How would Bettman fight back?” We told him that no one flouts Bettman’s authority within the NHL. (All the current owners since 1993 have come aboard on his watch.) And that he’d have to get the Board of Governors to approve his purchase. Odds: Nil.
That’s what happened. Rather than admit that the Valley of the Sun was poisoned for hockey, Bettman found another series of undercapitalized marks to front the franchise while the league quietly propped up the operation. No longer was the Coyotes’ failure about the fans of Arizona. It was about Gary Bettman’s pride.
Protestors stand outside a press conference in Tempe featuring Arizona Coyotes executives discussing propositions related to a new arena and entertainment district. (Photo by Brooklyn Hall/ Cronkite News)
Where he had meekly let Atlanta move to Winnipeg he fought like hell to save Arizona. And his power. (His obstinacy on U.S. network TV is another story.)
Fast forward to last week and the abject failure of that process. The Arizona Republic naively fawned on Bettman for his many attempts to save the team. In fact, they were just attempts to buttress his grip on the league. While the Coyotes may have been a mess, Bettman has succeeded in preserving the investments of most of the business people who bought his NHL business prospectus.
Sometimes it meant riding into Calgary to chastise the locals for their parsimony in not giving the Flames a new rink. Ditto for Edmonton. Ditto for Winnipeg and other cities. Other times it was to shore up weak partners to protect the equity of other prosperous cities. Sometimes it was to tell Quebec City, “Not gonna’ happen.”
For his loyalty to the owners and through some luck— Gretzky to the Kings— Bettman has made the NHL work in places no one might’ve imagined. Nashville. Raleigh. Tampa. Las Vegas. Dallas. Not at the level of the NFL, NBA or MLB, but at a comfortable equity-affirming status. Nothing happens without his say-so in the NHL. Or without him getting credit. Secondary NHL execs who wanted credit for their innovations were quietly punted.
When Houston finally gets a franchise from Gary they’ll part with $1.5 billion for the honour. While the commissioner has played down new franchises and expanded playoffs, you can bet your last dollar that he’s told owners they’re in line for more expansion cash— cash they don’t have to split with players in collective bargaining.
One more certainty. As long as Bettman rules the NHL you won’t see an NHL team back in Arizona.
Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, he’s a regular contributor to Sirius XM Canada Talks Ch. 167. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his new book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via brucedowbigginbooks.ca.
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