Our weekly Monday column is nominally a sports column. But sometimes we are lured by a sporting theme other than on the field. And with the capitulation of Mark Carney’s cringeworthy Elbows Up theme this week we can now safely reflect on the impact of the nation’s hockey obsession on tariff wars.

For those who don’t know by now, Carney’s Elbows Up meme popularized in cringeworthy commercials with actor Mike Myers was a reference to going into the corners with the legendary Gordie Howe. Legends abound on the lethality of Howe’s elbows that separated opponents from their senses. Thus, the message of Carney and Myers in Team Canada jerseys quoting Mr. Hockey was as simple as it was ridiculous.

Canada was going to go into the corner to separate Donald Trump from his tariffs? How? Carney has boasted of his hockey savvy as a goalie for Harvard. Where other nations were collapsing Carney’s Canada promised to be a stout backstop. 51st State? Hah! Locking arms with Myers and Doug Ford, Carney would show the Americans what Canadians are made of. At least that’s what they said in the election campaign to restore the Liberal brand to the nation.

The hockey theme was buttressed by the emotional victory by Team Canada over Team USA in February’s Four Nations Tournament. Having been filleted in the round-robin by the Yanks, Canada won the final game, reinforcing the nation’s dominance in a sport most Americans ignore 365 days a year. To those looking for any reason to anger Trump (hello, Andrew Coyne) it seemed like destiny for the Elbows Up crew.

As an example of the Team Canada approach Carney and his paid media wind therapists savaged Alberta premier Danielle Smith for trying build bridges with the Americans. Smith had the idea there was more to be gained from energy negotiations than from sulking. Traitor! They cried when she was seen with Trump. Consorting with the Cheeto was tantamount to selling nuclear secrets.

Elbows Up Canada, like China, would inflict counter tariffs on the U.S. after a decade of Justin Trudeau frippery. It would shut down the accusations that Canada was now a benchwarmer in global affairs. It never occurred to Team Carney or the Boomer midwits who elected him that launching a trade war against a nation whose economy was ten times the size of Canada’s might be a seriously bad idea. (Like hoping to wear down the Russian military.) Anyone pointing out this small problem was immediately denounced as hating hockey, ergo hating Canada.

To further illustrate his hockey pluck Carney’s backers bragged that the former head of the Bank of Canada and Bank of England was a skilled negotiator who would wipe the floor in negotiations with the erratic Trump. Nobody gets away with publicly declaring a post-Trudeau Canada as a failed state that should ally with the U.S. The Americans will come running to Canada when they want water, oil, aluminum, steel and maple syrup.

Then a funny thing happened. While Canada stood by, Zambonis running, ready to take it to overtime, the Americans simply ignored the taunts. Trump acted as if Elbows Up was a mirage. As trade deals were announced with other nations and international meetings convened, Carney’s Canada was left outside. In spite of the tough talk on tariffs, a blasé Trump whacked Canada with 35 percent tariffs.

The meme of Carney as a potted plant at the Ukraine White House summit came to epitomize the afterthought that is post-Trudeau Canada in this climate. Inspired by their allies at CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times and the Washington Post, Canada’s purchased media fought back with all their favoured/ debunked  Russian conspiracy theories and stories of Trump’s alleged mental incapacities. To no avail.

At just the moment that embarrassment was too great for even Team Carney’s most fervent media pals, Trump last week summoned him like a call-up from the minors to be told how it was going to be. Suddenly the implacable Carney was declaring how swell it was that Canada had the best treaty in the world. Elbows Up had suddenly become Pants Down.

Of course the beaming banker acted as if it was all part of some master plan he’d worked out between periods of the game with USA. Sure, his bluster about going into the corners was all bluff, no stuff. The Master Negotiator thing was all a cover for him to reduce government spending, re-commit to the futile climate war and (don’t tell anybody) recognize Palestine as a state in the near future.

Sure. Go with that. Anyone wanting an apology from the Potted Plant will wait a long time for satisfaction. For while Liberals talk a tough game they don’t talk at all when they’re been exposed. Even more sepulchral are the media that so readily grabbed the Elbows Up hustle to defeat Pierre Poilievre. Remember the Little Trump jibes? The Sloganeer slurs? The riding defeat?

Now that Trump had blocked their righteous elbow with a right cross they’re acting as if nothing is wrong. They’re off chasing stories about Poilievre being parachuted into an Alberta riding or Trump with Jeffrey Epstein. They’re reviving the murdered Rez babies hoax. And they’re ignoring international concerns about money laundering and drug trafficking.

Anything but the utter futility of Elbows Up and the next four years of watching the decline of Canada’s formerly respected position in the world. In heaven Gordie Howe is just shaking his head.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, his new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via brucedowbigginbooks.ca.