Our weekly Monday column is nominally a sports column. But sometimes we are lured by a sporting theme other than on the field. And with the capitulation of Mark Carney’s cringeworthy Elbows Up theme this week we can now safely reflect on the impact of the nation’s hockey obsession on tariff wars.

For those who don’t know by now, Carney’s Elbows Up meme popularized in cringeworthy commercials with actor Mike Myers was a reference to going into the corners with the legendary Gordie Howe. Legends abound on the lethality of Howe’s elbows that separated opponents from their senses. Thus, the message of Carney and Myers in Team Canada jerseys quoting Mr. Hockey was as simple as it was ridiculous.

Canada was going to go into the corner to separate Donald Trump from his tariffs? How? Carney has boasted of his hockey savvy as a goalie for Harvard. Where other nations were collapsing Carney’s Canada promised to be a stout backstop. 51st State? Hah! Locking arms with Myers and Doug Ford, Carney would show the Americans what Canadians are made of. At least that’s what they said in the election campaign to restore the Liberal brand to the nation.

The hockey theme was buttressed by the emotional victory by Team Canada over Team USA in February’s Four Nations Tournament. Having been filleted in the round-robin by the Yanks, Canada won the final game, reinforcing the nation’s dominance in a sport most Americans ignore 365 days a year. To those looking for any reason to anger Trump (hello, Andrew Coyne) it seemed like destiny for the Elbows Up crew.

As an example of the Team Canada approach Carney and his paid media wind therapists savaged Alberta premier Danielle Smith for trying build bridges with the Americans. Smith had the idea there was more to be gained from energy negotiations than from sulking. Traitor! They cried when she was seen with Trump. Consorting with the Cheeto was tantamount to selling nuclear secrets.

Elbows Up Canada, like China, would inflict counter tariffs on the U.S. after a decade of Justin Trudeau frippery. It would shut down the accusations that Canada was now a benchwarmer in global affairs. It never occurred to Team Carney or the Boomer midwits who elected him that launching a trade war against a nation whose economy was ten times the size of Canada’s might be a seriously bad idea. (Like hoping to wear down the Russian military.) Anyone pointing out this small problem was immediately denounced as hating hockey, ergo hating Canada.

To further illustrate his hockey pluck Carney’s backers bragged that the former head of the Bank of Canada and Bank of England was a skilled negotiator who would wipe the floor in negotiations with the erratic Trump. Nobody gets away with publicly declaring a post-Trudeau Canada as a failed state that should ally with the U.S. The Americans will come running to Canada when they want water, oil, aluminum, steel and maple syrup.

Then a funny thing happened. While Canada stood by, Zambonis running, ready to take it to overtime, the Americans simply ignored the taunts. Trump acted as if Elbows Up was a mirage. As trade deals were announced with other nations and international meetings convened, Carney’s Canada was left outside. In spite of the tough talk on tariffs, a blasé Trump whacked Canada with 35 percent tariffs.

The meme of Carney as a potted plant at the Ukraine White House summit came to epitomize the afterthought that is post-Trudeau Canada in this climate. Inspired by their allies at CNN, MSNBC, the New York Times and the Washington Post, Canada’s purchased media fought back with all their favoured/ debunked  Russian conspiracy theories and stories of Trump’s alleged mental incapacities. To no avail.

At just the moment that embarrassment was too great for even Team Carney’s most fervent media pals, Trump last week summoned him like a call-up from the minors to be told how it was going to be. Suddenly the implacable Carney was declaring how swell it was that Canada had the best treaty in the world. Elbows Up had suddenly become Pants Down.

Of course the beaming banker acted as if it was all part of some master plan he’d worked out between periods of the game with USA. Sure, his bluster about going into the corners was all bluff, no stuff. The Master Negotiator thing was all a cover for him to reduce government spending, re-commit to the futile climate war and (don’t tell anybody) recognize Palestine as a state in the near future.

Sure. Go with that. Anyone wanting an apology from the Potted Plant will wait a long time for satisfaction. For while Liberals talk a tough game they don’t talk at all when they’re been exposed. Even more sepulchral are the media that so readily grabbed the Elbows Up hustle to defeat Pierre Poilievre. Remember the Little Trump jibes? The Sloganeer slurs? The riding defeat?

Now that Trump had blocked their righteous elbow with a right cross they’re acting as if nothing is wrong. They’re off chasing stories about Poilievre being parachuted into an Alberta riding or Trump with Jeffrey Epstein. They’re reviving the murdered Rez babies hoax. And they’re ignoring international concerns about money laundering and drug trafficking.

Anything but the utter futility of Elbows Up and the next four years of watching the decline of Canada’s formerly respected position in the world. In heaven Gordie Howe is just shaking his head.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, his new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via brucedowbigginbooks.ca.

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”— P.J. O’Rourke 

As taxpayers who’ve seen their monthly property tax vault from $310/ month to $400/ month within three years the notice that Calgary is offering $285 K for a Director, Climate and Environment caught our eye. For those who don’t follow Calgary politics, mayor Jyoti Gondek is the Woke pretender who exploited a four-way split to gain the mayor’s job in 2022.

Her first act in office? Energy? Transit? Lowering taxes? Be serious. She declared a climate emergency in a city where the sun shines 333 days a year. The biggest air quality issue is forest-fire smoke that originates hundreds of kilometres away from her progressive reach. No matter.

She’s running again this fall on the same noxious platform of climate Armegeddon married to “the values of equity, diversity, inclusion, anti-racism and reconciliation”. For those saying, “Who cares what happens in Cowtown?” this formula applies to virtually every major metropolitan area of Canada. It is a nation of Gondeks running city halls on behalf of unwitting people who go, ”How’d that happen?”

As we head to Labour Day and the celebration of work we can’t list them all the hizzoners and heronners, but we’ll just say Olivia Chow dancing during Toronto’s Caribana or Montreal’s Valerie Plante sending cops into churches to arrest Christian singers and let that suffice.

So as we wade through the 17 paragraphs of “equity, diversity, inclusion, anti-racism and reconciliation” in the job offering know that you are watching in real time the metastasizing of the Canadian public service in microcosm. A creeping blight that now, post Justin Trudeau, sees Canada’s job growth only coming in the public (translation: non-profit) sector. The consultancy class. Sucking billions from the private economy, they’ve rewarded themselves with:

Work-life balance

Pensions

Benefits

Psychological and physical safety

1 day off in a 3 week cycle

Standard 35 hour work week

On a historical note, Justin came by this pork-barrelling naturally. Long ago, his papa Pierre was instrumental in bloating the civil service from a grey, unassuming body to a behemoth instrument of the government’s latest fancy. Faced with the trifecta of Quebec alienation, ‘60s social unrest and a huge Boomer generation PET and the Liberals created a vast menu of public-service jobs to accommodate the army of graduates from the expanding university/ college programs.

With platinum pensions, job security and white-collar pretension they calmed the counter culture even as the cost sent Canada’s economy into a ditch. When the civil service was granted the right to unionize, the stranglehold was compete. Thus we have government employees wearing keffiyehs, demanding the death of Israel and openly politicking for the far Left in elections.

How powerful are they? When the Truckers Convoy interrupted their sleep in Ottawa with honking horns, Trudeau declared a national emergency.

As you read the Calgary job application Job ID #: 312391 you’ll note that the public service’s righteous causes of the past— South Africa, nuclear war, bilingualism— have faded. But they have been replaced by a new mania, the Big Cs of climate, colonialism and conciliation. All eagerly regurgitated by friendly media.

Protected by ironclad job security, they can make your money disappear. Just this week we learned that these folks “faked” a start-up for subsidizing business after handing out $130M. Auditors can’t find the companies or jobs. $130 million . Oh, the possibilities. As P.J. O’Rourke observed, “It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.”

Perhaps the best example of bureaucratic waste is tucked into the line “Applications are encouraged from members of groups that are historically disadvantaged and underrepresented.” (*Translation: DEI) And “… as a member of the Senior Management Team (SMT), you are expected to promote an inclusive leadership style that values equity, diversity, inclusion, and ensures psychological and physical safety.”

So you are urged to promote inclusion while the vast majority of taxpaying white male citizens are excluded from consideration. Right. Got it. And if you want this job please don’t mention that the vast David Suzuki climate empire propped up by government is falling apart in the United States and Europe. (The Chinese and Indians wisely never bought in.) Bury that lede beneath a truck garden of word salad.

There’s more. “Leveraging the business unit’s expertise in watershed planning, urban conservation, biodiversity stewardship, climate resilience, and energy management, you will encourage innovation and collaboration across sectors, integrating environmental excellence into city-wide planning systems and governance frameworks. With strong strategic thinking and political acumen, you will need experience in leading transformational change and fostering innovation.”

Transformational change is what they want (after a lengthy apology for colonialism) That’s why it’s buried at the end of this tedious tract. And oh, did we mention you’ll be required to forgo political neutrality? “You have a strong reputation for political and organizational sensitivity and are driven by a dedication to serving the citizens of Calgary. You are committed to our mission of “Making life better every day” through our core values of Character, Commitment, Competence, and Collaboration.”

Except every third Friday when you march in a Pride Parade or Free Palestine pop-up. Or just goof off. That’s a reward for the exhausting work of leading “climate initiatives that reduce climate risk through enhancing adaptation and resilience for both the Corporation and the community, energy management and greenhouse gas reduction, and supporting the energy transition for Calgary.”

Once again the real goal is buried in the last sentence. “Supporting the energy transition for Calgary”. Because Mark Carney has ordered NetZero diktats, city hall s like Calgary will forgo energy supremacy in exchange for EV batteries and charging stations that don’t work when the city’s temperature drops to minus 35 C.

You are encouraged to “foster open communication and a collaborative working environment that empowers others to make sound decisions. You ensure a respectful, inclusive, and accessible workplace and promoting employee health, safety, and wellness.”

So massive is the job’s importance that it requires an office full of other well-compensated civil servants to field your application. “To speak with a City recruiter, connect with Ashu Gandhi, David Fletcher or Jaci Spence-Eising on LinkedIn.”

We could go on, but the urge to self-harm has overtaken us. We can only summarize with the reason civil servants don’t look out the window in the morning is that then they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon.” Rim shot.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, his new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via brucedowbigginbooks.ca.