I have never wished a man dead. But I have read some obituaries with great pleasure.” Mark Twain

We have a friend who works in the same Toronto neighbourhood where several of the stars on the Maple Leafs live. One day he came to us to complain that Auston Matthews never waves back when he greets him on the street. “What’s it going to hurt him to say hi?” he asked. “(William) Nylander always turns to hi, takes pictures and rides the subway.”

We tried to tell him about the overwhelming pressure of being a visible Leafs star in Toronto. If you stop for one fan you must stop for all fans who accost you. Or else there will be a video of you acting like as jerk.. And the Leafs, it’s safe to say, have a million fans in southern Ontario. Most are nice, considerate. But the needy ones make you want to stay in your house full-time between games.

Nylander finds a way to accommodate his local fame. Others, like Matthews and Mitch Marner, do not accept blame for the Leafs’ entire 58-year Stanley Cup drought that tortures fans. In Marner’s case public pressure, in part, led him to leave Toronto for Las Vegas where he will be way, way down the celebrity chain behind Kelly Clarkson and Boys II Men. The gnawing blame for repeated Cups in Toronto since 1967 had to go somewhere. It was laid at Marner’s door.

For those fortunate not to live Days of our Leafs on a daily basis, Marner is a skilled centreman who made his living in Toronto as a setup man for others. In his career so far, all in Toronto as part of their “Core Four” players, he had 221 goals and 520 assists. He’s not likely to dig the puck out of the corner or crash the net often.  In that manner he resembles the late Johhny Gaudreau who left Calgary for similar “faults”.

In a town that loved Tie Domi and Wendel Clark this was not seen as commitment to winning in the tough zones during the playoffs. So when the Leafs boxed themselves into a salary cap hell that meant Marner was unaffordable, the resentment of his play grew. He was called effete, a whiner, a no-show for his $8 million salary. When the Leafs gambled at the trading deadline, keeping him to help the team win the Cup in 2025, the target on his back grew larger. Fans who dreamt he’d take a hometown discount were dreaming.

You know the rest. Toronto gakked again in the second round. Marner went to free agency, signing longterm in tax-free Nevada. The team received nothing in return for a star player. The locals needed a scapegoat for thieir repeated frustrations. So when Marner, who has kids, described being doxxed by fans, the unwanted threats, the people hanging around his home late at night, needing security, the unrelenting pressure of playing for his hometown team, the dam broke among critics .

The result was measures of spite and resentment. “Why does he always seem so full of shit?” asked one fan. “That crybaby Marner who doesn’t like that his hometown hates him and has never taken responsibility for why that is, ever.” And, ”Go enjoy your millions in Vegas bro where you can underperform when it counts and the vast majority won’t know the difference.”

And that’s the nice stuff. Then there was Toronto Sun writer Steve Simmons who can always be counted on to make things more toxic. “This was classic spin-doctoring — taking a piece of slight truth and stretching it to sell a narrative that isn’t necessarily believable…And it was, or is, believed by some who must also believe in fairy tales, that Marner’s life and that of his family was in danger because of his lack of playoff performance.” Simmons apparently believes, like the mayor, that life in Toronto has never been safer.

Forget that team captain Matthews had a paltry three goals and 11 points in the same playoff swoon that Marner is alleged to have caused. Matthew’s annual $16.7 million went unmentioned. In the eyes of Toronto fans and media Marner’s departure was the purgative. (They’ll change their mind when they fully realize that a franchise player was allowed to leave for nothing.)

The bigger picture here, easily glossed over, is that elite players like Marner now control the league. They wrap up eight-year contracts with no-trade/ no-move clauses. They and their agents talk around the NHL about places they’d like to play. For some Toronto still remains the pinnacle, but they are fewer every year who want the incessant media scrutiny, the visibility in the community and the tax situation compared to U.S. states with no income tax. To say nothing of the car-jacking that Marner suffered a few years ago.

Some of these players will dismiss Marner’s dystopian portrait of Toronto. But a growing number don’t want the hassle of Toronto— or other Canadian fish bowls. Montreal has long ago lost the lure for French Canadians to play there. Too much language politics, too many taxes, urban street crime. Ditto Vancouver, which his still in shock from the 2011 riots after the Canucks lost Game 7 of the Final. Calgary, Edmonton and Winnipeg are too cold and their street crime in an embarrassment.

There are better options. Play in a warm American city, collect your riches then spend the summer in your Muskoka or Laurentian cottages. Lest Toronto’s embedded sports media and fans, whose passions have often dictated the progress of their sports teams, think they are still in charge, watch this winter as the dithering Blue Jays face life without star shortstop Bo Bichette.

Bichette is a free agent and if he’s still willing to return to Rogers Centre (no guarantees) the Blue Jays will pay another king’s ransom like the $325 M. they paid Vlad Guerrero Jr. Leaving little money for the other parts of the team. More likely they missed their window to sign Bichette and will see him return in another uniform next summer—  possibly of an AL East rival.

So criticize Marner all you like, Toronto. He’s more likely to win a Cup in Vegas than any in Toronto. Then who will Leaf Nation send to the stocks?

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, his new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via brucedowbigginbooks.ca.

“Giving money and power to government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.”— P.J. O’Rourke 

As taxpayers who’ve seen their monthly property tax vault from $310/ month to $400/ month within three years the notice that Calgary is offering $285 K for a Director, Climate and Environment caught our eye. For those who don’t follow Calgary politics, mayor Jyoti Gondek is the Woke pretender who exploited a four-way split to gain the mayor’s job in 2022.

Her first act in office? Energy? Transit? Lowering taxes? Be serious. She declared a climate emergency in a city where the sun shines 333 days a year. The biggest air quality issue is forest-fire smoke that originates hundreds of kilometres away from her progressive reach. No matter.

She’s running again this fall on the same noxious platform of climate Armegeddon married to “the values of equity, diversity, inclusion, anti-racism and reconciliation”. For those saying, “Who cares what happens in Cowtown?” this formula applies to virtually every major metropolitan area of Canada. It is a nation of Gondeks running city halls on behalf of unwitting people who go, ”How’d that happen?”

As we head to Labour Day and the celebration of work we can’t list them all the hizzoners and heronners, but we’ll just say Olivia Chow dancing during Toronto’s Caribana or Montreal’s Valerie Plante sending cops into churches to arrest Christian singers and let that suffice.

So as we wade through the 17 paragraphs of “equity, diversity, inclusion, anti-racism and reconciliation” in the job offering know that you are watching in real time the metastasizing of the Canadian public service in microcosm. A creeping blight that now, post Justin Trudeau, sees Canada’s job growth only coming in the public (translation: non-profit) sector. The consultancy class. Sucking billions from the private economy, they’ve rewarded themselves with:

Work-life balance

Pensions

Benefits

Psychological and physical safety

1 day off in a 3 week cycle

Standard 35 hour work week

On a historical note, Justin came by this pork-barrelling naturally. Long ago, his papa Pierre was instrumental in bloating the civil service from a grey, unassuming body to a behemoth instrument of the government’s latest fancy. Faced with the trifecta of Quebec alienation, ‘60s social unrest and a huge Boomer generation PET and the Liberals created a vast menu of public-service jobs to accommodate the army of graduates from the expanding university/ college programs.

With platinum pensions, job security and white-collar pretension they calmed the counter culture even as the cost sent Canada’s economy into a ditch. When the civil service was granted the right to unionize, the stranglehold was compete. Thus we have government employees wearing keffiyehs, demanding the death of Israel and openly politicking for the far Left in elections.

How powerful are they? When the Truckers Convoy interrupted their sleep in Ottawa with honking horns, Trudeau declared a national emergency.

As you read the Calgary job application Job ID #: 312391 you’ll note that the public service’s righteous causes of the past— South Africa, nuclear war, bilingualism— have faded. But they have been replaced by a new mania, the Big Cs of climate, colonialism and conciliation. All eagerly regurgitated by friendly media.

Protected by ironclad job security, they can make your money disappear. Just this week we learned that these folks “faked” a start-up for subsidizing business after handing out $130M. Auditors can’t find the companies or jobs. $130 million . Oh, the possibilities. As P.J. O’Rourke observed, “It is a popular delusion that the government wastes vast amounts of money through inefficiency and sloth. Enormous effort and elaborate planning are required to waste this much money.”

Perhaps the best example of bureaucratic waste is tucked into the line “Applications are encouraged from members of groups that are historically disadvantaged and underrepresented.” (*Translation: DEI) And “… as a member of the Senior Management Team (SMT), you are expected to promote an inclusive leadership style that values equity, diversity, inclusion, and ensures psychological and physical safety.”

So you are urged to promote inclusion while the vast majority of taxpaying white male citizens are excluded from consideration. Right. Got it. And if you want this job please don’t mention that the vast David Suzuki climate empire propped up by government is falling apart in the United States and Europe. (The Chinese and Indians wisely never bought in.) Bury that lede beneath a truck garden of word salad.

There’s more. “Leveraging the business unit’s expertise in watershed planning, urban conservation, biodiversity stewardship, climate resilience, and energy management, you will encourage innovation and collaboration across sectors, integrating environmental excellence into city-wide planning systems and governance frameworks. With strong strategic thinking and political acumen, you will need experience in leading transformational change and fostering innovation.”

Transformational change is what they want (after a lengthy apology for colonialism) That’s why it’s buried at the end of this tedious tract. And oh, did we mention you’ll be required to forgo political neutrality? “You have a strong reputation for political and organizational sensitivity and are driven by a dedication to serving the citizens of Calgary. You are committed to our mission of “Making life better every day” through our core values of Character, Commitment, Competence, and Collaboration.”

Except every third Friday when you march in a Pride Parade or Free Palestine pop-up. Or just goof off. That’s a reward for the exhausting work of leading “climate initiatives that reduce climate risk through enhancing adaptation and resilience for both the Corporation and the community, energy management and greenhouse gas reduction, and supporting the energy transition for Calgary.”

Once again the real goal is buried in the last sentence. “Supporting the energy transition for Calgary”. Because Mark Carney has ordered NetZero diktats, city hall s like Calgary will forgo energy supremacy in exchange for EV batteries and charging stations that don’t work when the city’s temperature drops to minus 35 C.

You are encouraged to “foster open communication and a collaborative working environment that empowers others to make sound decisions. You ensure a respectful, inclusive, and accessible workplace and promoting employee health, safety, and wellness.”

So massive is the job’s importance that it requires an office full of other well-compensated civil servants to field your application. “To speak with a City recruiter, connect with Ashu Gandhi, David Fletcher or Jaci Spence-Eising on LinkedIn.”

We could go on, but the urge to self-harm has overtaken us. We can only summarize with the reason civil servants don’t look out the window in the morning is that then they’d have nothing to do in the afternoon.” Rim shot.

Bruce Dowbiggin @dowbboy is the editor of Not The Public Broadcaster  A two-time winner of the Gemini Award as Canada’s top television sports broadcaster, his new book Deal With It: The Trades That Stunned The NHL And Changed hockey is now available on Amazon. Inexact Science: The Six Most Compelling Draft Years In NHL History, his previous book with his son Evan, was voted the seventh-best professional hockey book of all time by bookauthority.org . His 2004 book Money Players was voted sixth best on the same list, and is available via brucedowbigginbooks.ca.